“Does God exist is the single most important question, everything else is just window dressing” — Unknown
Some have claimed that this is largely irrelevant in deconversion. Others have argued that it’s a boring and uninteresting. This was, and still is, not so for me. As I thought about religion I concluded that the essential question was whether God exists. It matters not whether I like the answer only that it is the correct answer. God could be a misogynistic, racist and homophobic, it would ultimately make no difference. If God exists there are serious implications for my life.
I spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out whether or not I could even discern the answer to this question. I call this blog “hard of thinking” because I’m not a great philosopher or thinker and this question troubled me. I ran into the philosophical questions of understanding and of whether we can ever truly know anything. I am however ultimately a pragmatist and I settled on some imperfect but workable principles by which to operate.
- I can only make my best judgement based on the information available to me.
- I must rely on my senses and my perception of the evidence as that’s all I have.
- I should not trust purely in personal experience or other single sources of information.
- I am fallible and some of my beliefs are almost certainly wrong.
- I should be open to reevaluating any belief in the light of new evidence.
One question that preyed on my mind was that of what difference, if any, a God would make to the world. There are those who argue in favor of a vague God. One that’s there like a kind of spiritual safety blanket but who makes no discernible difference in a practical sense. I concluded that it would be impossible to determine if there were an impersonal, non-interventionist God and that it would make no difference to my life whether such a God existed or not.
It seems to me that if there were a creator God that God would likely have had views on how we live. I realize that this may be nothing more than projection of my own attitudes, but why go to all the trouble of creating the universe and mankind only to ignore it? And if we are just a celestial science experiment we’re back to it making no difference if God exists or not. So, if there’s a creator God who takes an interest and who has opinions on how we live my conclusion was that he/she/it’s probably associated with one of the major religions.
It also seems to me that the existence of a personal, interventionist God in the Judeo-Christian mold should affect both the world and myself in noticeable, even measurable ways. This led me to considering how the world might be if a God existed or did not exist. I started by considering the God I was familiar with, the Judeo-Christian God.
I found myself contemplating what differences might exist between a world with or without the God of the Bible. My conclusion was that there is nothing claimed or stated in the Bible about our physical world that would not be true in a Godless world. We do not see miracles. We do not see the judgement of God on peoples. We do not see anything that is not adequately explained by natural phenomena. (Leaving aside the question of abiogenesis and the advent of the Universe for the moment). Of course there are those that claim the existence of miracles but that deserves a post all its own. Suffice to say the evidence for miracles is not well proven.
Conversely though we do see many things that are very hard to explain if there is a loving God. The problem of evil for example. Despite the Bible’s claim that evil entered the world through Adam’s sin there seems to be no reason for, nor explanation of, the harsh, casual and meaningless cruelty of life. Equally, we don’t live on a planet where our very existence as a species is in question every year. In short, things could be both so much worse and so much better and yet still fit the Biblical narrative. Actually if things were much much better it would seem to fit the Biblical narrative better. That 60% of fertilized embryos never make it to term seems like completely meaningless destruction of a life.
The conclusion of this thinking was then, and is now, that I am unconvinced that there is an interventionist God.
In the years that have passed since this shocking, frightening and unexpected revelation I have become more and more convinced that this is the truth. Everything from natural events, to history, to scientific breakthroughs to the behavior of religious peoples around the world have served to underscore and reinforce the conclusion that there is no God.